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Well, its the first of the month.  Hopefully I will be able to remember to write more.  Its one of the goals this month.  Car trouble round out the end of the month, but a late birthday present from my mother fixed that. So my car lives again.  It was the capper to a very topsy/ turvy birthday month.  In fact its rather remarkable that I am in as good of spirits as I am.   Haven't not worked this long in a long long time.  So, there is that.  Its learning what it means to be quiet and still.

In all honesty, its a good thing that I am home right now.   There is a lot that I can do here, just need some sort of income to come in while that is being done.  I am realitively privilaged that I have a bit of savings to draw off off till I have to really get a job or get on unemployment.  For that I am really grateful.  The other honest thing is I am eligable to go back to tulalip if this doesn't work out.  Sitting with it these last few days however, my whole being is like I don't want to go back.

I don't want to go back.
Please don't make me go back, is the anwser within the fiber of my being.

What do you want to do?  I am asking myself that a lot lately. From the 26th I have applied to 15 jobs in that amount of time.  15 jobs. in less then two weeks. Hmm. I may be rather driven here to do something.   Been putting things away, taking up knitting again.  Knitting which I let go of after my beloveds mother died ( don't get excited yet, let me finish something first. then there will be excitment.) 

My body is still pulling off the layers, so we will see what happens.  Yes, its detoxing from what I had been working with, and letting go of what was.  There's a lot of inquires running around in my head that deserve anwsers, which in part I have been journaling offline.
kgbella: (Default)
  1.  Getting ready to transition jobs is challenging when paperwork disappears. Spent most of the day yesterday fixing that problem.
  2.  Working on cleaning my room ( that a whole different post )
  3.  Repetitive dialog with coworkers is kinda old news.
  4.  Preparing for the hardest day of the year on Sunday at the current job.
  5.  Trying to get uniforms for the 17th
( I would love to source the artist on this picture.  Currently working on it, and will update with proper credit as soon as I can find it.)
This pretty much describes how I am feeling right now, crossroads will come on the first day of the new job.. Right now its all the weaving of things into place at the moment. 

In other-words thinking about the countdown has done me no good, so my focus has been on getting ready for the change that is almost like putting on a old hat.  I worked in the senior community under another aspect before, and that has brought up those thoughts and feelings.  Perhaps this is a part of the healing process for me, to let go of those misconceptions and grow into my own again.  The last bit has been about that grief feeling for what does all these years mean in one place.  Every time I get to a layer another layer keeps coming up.   Not sure how I am going to honor that time in my life yet.

Here we go.

May. 5th, 2017 11:35 am
kgbella: (Default)
So todays the day. 
Going to take the leap in about 20 mintues.
New job.

Yeah, I am scared.  After 10+years of living that lifestyle of not consistent hours, never knowing if what your doing is good enough.. I am terrified.  The promise of consistency is alluring.  So I am jumping in..   For that amount of stress to be relieved its worth taking that chance. 
kgbella: (Default)

Welcome to April.
Welcome to a new journal.

Oh my gods I am trying this again? 


Status Update.

There will be a more proper introduction page probably after the 21st.  Until then, there will be more random posting. Such is the way of things in my life.

There's been lot going on in my life that is going to take some time to process. So while I am settling into this new site. Bear with me. There appears to be a bit of a learning curve with dreamwidth that has rather intimidated me in the past few attempts that I have tried it. Have wanted to keep a more consistent blog online.  Yet. Yes, welcome to emotional wishy washy issues.  Or as some folks say, are you sure that's not first world problems? Yeah, I thought it might be.

The fear of it has been something to progress, and with the great Livejournal purge.. Because I will be not allowing anything of mine to stay in that type of enviorment. It comes to the point I have to look at this idea, and decide what I want to do with it. I was toying with wordpress, but that didn't stay in a consistent base. Lots of okay if A is done, what will happen next.  With that on my mind.  Nothing to do with it but to do it.  So, I am taking the fools leap again and seeing if this might be a good fit..  We will see.

Also I get in a hurry and have issues with spelling If your reading this and find it, please comment and call me on it, so I can fix the post.

What's new.  Or potential planning for the future

Work needs to be done on my profile, to reflect my own intrest.  As well as posting  poetry is on the agenda. We will see where the Muse takes me.  Am considering some of my rants posted here more offen.  Since this is shinny and new it will be where ever it goes. 


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June 2017

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